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Blurry Nights

Intoxicated with a lot of shit, then and always.  But the poison takes it over the edge.  I usually make pretty good decisions despite the constant intoxication of life.  I do my best to stay centered, healthy, strong, giving, loving.  But just like everybody else I SLIP.  And I make decisions that I will forever regret.  My friend Greg once told me “the ego can make one decision that will ruin your life”.   Regrets are lessons at the very least. These blurry nights are like dreams, anything can happen, sometimes it doesn’t make sense and you can’t really understand what happened until it’s all over and you can recall it. 

I preach love, truth, being humble, giving endlessly to others, standing for what is right, treating everybody with respect.  But I’m a damn hypocrite.  Because the ego takes over and I lose touch with myself, and “I” battle another ego.  And when two egos battle there are no winners.  You’re left with emptiness, no sense of dignity, no wrong or right, just plain despair. 

I know life has a lot to offer for us all.  I am constantly striving to tap into my fullest potential and really share what it is that I believe can be of value.  I want what’s best for every living soul, and I have the deepest love and respect for those souls who are no longer walking this earth. We can take each other for granted, not realizing how we’re constantly building and growing with each other.  If it weren’t for those who have come and gone, where would we be?  If it weren’t for all the selfless love you receive from those around you, where would you be?  I know I’d be gone. 

 I’m here to grow alongside all of you and I’m forever in debt to all of you who make this journey worth the while.  I’m very sorry to those who I’ve wronged, especially those who I love the most.  I am committed to becoming more self-conscious so that I can avoid the battleground of the ego and let the love flow from myself to others, unconditionally, effortlessly, and endlessly.  Thank you for reading and know that I love you forever and always.