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The Eyes of Plenty

Stabbed.  Of course I’m not dead, but damn that shit hurts.  Love is your sacred knife so be careful who you give it to.  And if you lose trust in them at any point you better take that shit back when they’re not looking or else you will for sure get stabbed.  Sounds dramatic… but that’s where I’ve found myself.  And I take full responsibility for where I am.  Thank God for my dear friend Amick who constantly reminds me that I am responsible for my cirumstances and that I have the power to change them.  And also that I’m the fucking man (thanks bro).  I have so much hate and anger in my heart right now.  Probably enough to break through several walls, but I won’t do that.  I’ll write and I’ll express myself to this word document.  It blows my mind what people are capable of.  Words are so fucking meaningless.  Really sorry about the heat of my vocabulary but I honestly don’t give a fuck right now.  Not that more than 3 people read my blog anyway.  HEY DAD!!  Good thing my Dad probably understands how angry I am right now.

But what fuels you?  Love fuels me.  The people who unconditionally love and respect each other.  The ones who put their own selfish needs aside and consider another person’s feelings.  But I know we’re not all at that level.  Some people are little immature babies who aren’t capable of such a thing.  And those people probably won’t ever figure it out and will continue to thrash their way through life fucking up everything in their way.  And despite how brutally wounded I feel in this moment, I will never lose faith in the love that I know exists.  Because I see it everyday in the eyes of plenty.

I’ve always seen the good in people.  Because I know what is really at the core of a human being, I’ve experienced it within myself.  And I guess I have way too much faith in other people being able to consistently act from that source.  And I know even my anger now isn’t truly aligned with the love and light at my core.  But I’m going to feel these things and I’m going to learn how to direct them in a positive way.  I have no choice.